Anxiety at another level

I have posted before that I have anxiety and depression. I always had anxiety my whole life but once real life things started happening like being bullied, losing close family members, my sister leaving me and moving to another state then having children. It really was so much for my brain to understand and process it. It all feels like it came at once. My anxiety gets so bad that I get myself sick and can’t stop throwing up till I can figure out how to get myself out of it . I started getting depressed when I lost my mom and I lost a piece of me that day as well. It’s crazy that I have had anxiety my whole life but it still feels like it’s all new. I don’t even know what to do with it half the time. And I hate that there are little things in life that can trigger it. Then I just get upset with myself because I feel like I’ve been working so hard on my self with my anxiety then it goes away so fast with a trigger.

I started going to therapy after my mom passed cause I new I couldn’t handle all the emotions by myself. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. First thing I have done for myself in a very long time !!! I really have found that it is ok to be aware of my anxiety I just tried to hide it because I just thought it was bad I guess. But it’s not it is who I am and I just need to work on myself everyday and take away the toxic things that I can to help reduce it . There are so many people that think it’s just people getting attention and that is absolutely so far from the truth and my opinion there should be more mental help and awareness. It is ok to admit if you have anxiety and own it and try to fix it don’t let it take over your life . It’s a working process one day at a time.

2 thoughts on “Anxiety at another level

  1. I feel your struggles. It’s finding the ways to find the calm in the storms that come. Every unpleasant change or challenge gives us the chance to grow as a person. I find that real growth is a difficult and uncomfortable process. I honestly never wanted to grow up either. While all the other kids wanted the next step of freedom, I thought why would anyone want anything other than what I had at 5 years old. Sitting in the yard, playing with my sister or neighbor kid, and having my mom bring me a snack. My idea of heaven is that we are all silly hearted 5 year olds with no cares, no worries, no pain – only silliness and love. Until then, I will remind myself to live in the present, help someone else, listen to my music, or even put myself in a time out. I will also continue to keep my faith, remind myself what I am grateful for, and how I can find happiness in the moments.

    Liked by 1 person

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